Saturday, April 22, 2000
Greatest Boston Moments
Since you have stumbled upon Hub Blog, you might as well know more about Boston, the Hub of the Universe. Following is a blog primer of Great Moments in Boston History. All facts are true. Everything else is not.
1620
English Puritans, aiming for mouth of Hudson River, accidently hit Cape Cod. Steal Indian corn and property. Start constructing Utopia in nearby Plymouth.
1630
City of Boston founded. Future site of Boston Garden secured. Cows let loose to trample out street grid.
1636
Harvard College founded. Eventually dominates upstart Yale and future U.S. News & World Report college-ranking lists.
1675
Forerunner of Plymouth Trial Lawyers Association sparks brutal King Philip's War with one too many shady land deals with Indians.
1692
Witches found in Salem north of Boston. Guilty as charged. Hung.
1706
Benjamin Franklin born in Boston. Philadelphia later claims him. Fierce tourism battle begins.
1770
Boston patriots throw ice balls at British troops. British troops respond with musketballs. Boston patriots cry foul.
1773
Boston patriots, dressed as Indians, dump tea into Boston Harbor. Water polluted for next 225 years, giving George Bush I a great photo-op during 1988 campaign.
1775 (April)
British troops march to Lexington and Concord. Boston-area Minutemen kick British butt. American Revolution started.
1775 (June)
Israel Putnam, commander of American forces at Bunker Hill, picks wrong hill to defend. American Minutemen lose battle but kick British butt anyway.
1776 (March)
Virginian George Washington forces British to evacuate Boston. Event is forever commemorated as St. Patrick's Day.
1783
American Revolution, started in Boston, ends. Argumentative Bostonians immediately start laying groundwork for future Civil War.
1812
War breaks out against Britain. Bostonians point south. British fall for ruse. Washington, D.C. sacked and burned. USS Constitution kicks British butt.
1840s
First great wave of Irish immigrants land in Boston, doubling number of sexually repressed and boiled-food-eating ethnic groups in city.
1861-1865
American Civil War rages. Bostonians later place statue of Gen. "Fighting Joe" Hooker on State House lawn. Bostonians don't understand why. Neither do tourists.
1876
Alexander Graham Bell, in Boston, makes first phone call to assistant Thomas Watson. The telecommunications tax is born.
1890s
First great wave of Italian immigrants arrive in Boston. Boiled-food Bostonians are shocked at introduction of cuisine with actual 'herbs' and 'spices' in them.
Early 190Os
First great wave of Russian Jewish immigrants land in Boston. Boiled food regains culinary dominance in Boston.
1917
America enters World War I. Newly formed Boston-based Gillette Co. wins contract to distribute Gillette safety razors to Doughboys. America wins World War I.
1930s
James Michael Curley elected to third term as mayor of Boston, threatens to flood bank vaults with sewage unless city is given a loan from business community. Decades-long economic slide begins.
1941-1945
World War II rages. Boston scientists kick German and Japanese scientists' butts.
1960
Boston native John F. Kennedy elected president of the United States, launching the political career of JFK II, John F. Kerry.
1972
Massachusetts is only state in the Union to vote for George McGovern as president. Boston liberals in rapture.
1975
Something called 'busing' occurs in city.
1980/1984
Ronald Reagan carries Massachusetts in two straight presidential elections. Boston liberals in denial.
Mid-1980s
Federal funding for Big Dig is secured by U.S. House Speaker Tip O'Neill. Most costly highway construction boondoggle in U.S. history begins.
2004
Poll shows Bostonians would prefer Red Sox winning World Series over native-son John Kerry winning U.S. presidency. Red Sox win World Series. Kerry loses presidential race.
Learn more about Boston history here and here and here. Send suggestions to jayfitzgerald20-at-hotmail.com
1620
English Puritans, aiming for mouth of Hudson River, accidently hit Cape Cod. Steal Indian corn and property. Start constructing Utopia in nearby Plymouth.
1630
City of Boston founded. Future site of Boston Garden secured. Cows let loose to trample out street grid.
1636
Harvard College founded. Eventually dominates upstart Yale and future U.S. News & World Report college-ranking lists.
1675
Forerunner of Plymouth Trial Lawyers Association sparks brutal King Philip's War with one too many shady land deals with Indians.
1692
Witches found in Salem north of Boston. Guilty as charged. Hung.
1706
Benjamin Franklin born in Boston. Philadelphia later claims him. Fierce tourism battle begins.
1770
Boston patriots throw ice balls at British troops. British troops respond with musketballs. Boston patriots cry foul.
1773
Boston patriots, dressed as Indians, dump tea into Boston Harbor. Water polluted for next 225 years, giving George Bush I a great photo-op during 1988 campaign.
1775 (April)
British troops march to Lexington and Concord. Boston-area Minutemen kick British butt. American Revolution started.
1775 (June)
Israel Putnam, commander of American forces at Bunker Hill, picks wrong hill to defend. American Minutemen lose battle but kick British butt anyway.
1776 (March)
Virginian George Washington forces British to evacuate Boston. Event is forever commemorated as St. Patrick's Day.
1783
American Revolution, started in Boston, ends. Argumentative Bostonians immediately start laying groundwork for future Civil War.
1812
War breaks out against Britain. Bostonians point south. British fall for ruse. Washington, D.C. sacked and burned. USS Constitution kicks British butt.
1840s
First great wave of Irish immigrants land in Boston, doubling number of sexually repressed and boiled-food-eating ethnic groups in city.
1861-1865
American Civil War rages. Bostonians later place statue of Gen. "Fighting Joe" Hooker on State House lawn. Bostonians don't understand why. Neither do tourists.
1876
Alexander Graham Bell, in Boston, makes first phone call to assistant Thomas Watson. The telecommunications tax is born.
1890s
First great wave of Italian immigrants arrive in Boston. Boiled-food Bostonians are shocked at introduction of cuisine with actual 'herbs' and 'spices' in them.
Early 190Os
First great wave of Russian Jewish immigrants land in Boston. Boiled food regains culinary dominance in Boston.
1917
America enters World War I. Newly formed Boston-based Gillette Co. wins contract to distribute Gillette safety razors to Doughboys. America wins World War I.
1930s
James Michael Curley elected to third term as mayor of Boston, threatens to flood bank vaults with sewage unless city is given a loan from business community. Decades-long economic slide begins.
1941-1945
World War II rages. Boston scientists kick German and Japanese scientists' butts.
1960
Boston native John F. Kennedy elected president of the United States, launching the political career of JFK II, John F. Kerry.
1972
Massachusetts is only state in the Union to vote for George McGovern as president. Boston liberals in rapture.
1975
Something called 'busing' occurs in city.
1980/1984
Ronald Reagan carries Massachusetts in two straight presidential elections. Boston liberals in denial.
Mid-1980s
Federal funding for Big Dig is secured by U.S. House Speaker Tip O'Neill. Most costly highway construction boondoggle in U.S. history begins.
2004
Poll shows Bostonians would prefer Red Sox winning World Series over native-son John Kerry winning U.S. presidency. Red Sox win World Series. Kerry loses presidential race.
Learn more about Boston history here and here and here. Send suggestions to jayfitzgerald20-at-hotmail.com
